An Open Letter to Taking-it-Personally
You’ve been showing up a lot lately. I’m not sure if it’s the summer heat or just my stress levels in general, but you’re definitely not helping things, so it’s probably time that you move on.
I’ve noticed that you appear a lot when I am driving. I consider myself a safe driver and you can usually find me traveling at about five miles per hour over the speed limit, so I am certainly not trying to slow things down. Call me weird, but I prefer not to arrive at my destination with a tailgating Audi rammed up my colon, so it can be difficult not to take that personally…especially since that is personally my colon. And those drivers who throw their hands up in exasperated frustration at the mere thought of having to be behind me in traffic… well, they really tend to bring out the worst in you, Taking-it-Personally. I know that Starbucks/caffeine addiction is partially to blame for all this, but you only make the situation worse.
I’ve also noticed that you show up accompanying that guy who is so good at backhanded compliments that are actually degrading digs in disguise. Why are you even hanging out with that guy? He’s so freaking insecure! And guess what? The fact that his mother treated him poorly, and kids teased him because he was short? That has absolutely nothing to do with me. It totally bugs him that I intuitively know all this stuff about him and it makes him feel more insecure…also not my problem. Just because I know what your baggage is, doesn’t mean I’m going to carry it for you, pal. And there’s nothing you can do about it, Taking-it-Personally. Read More Personally